Friendless

“Friendless.”

That is what your daughter just called you.

But you don’t know whether to take it as a compliment or an accusation.

You sensed something in your nerves. Something wanted to raise its head in defense, but you allowed it to pass.

What’s the lie there? you thought.

And you quickly agreed and let it go.

How Did You Get Here?

Let’s trace how you got here.

You have never been an extrovert, right from the beginning. At least, not that you can remember.

You are so reserved that you have always had only a few friends.

And even with those few, you rarely communicate. You only spark the light whenever you reunite.

Those who were once close are no longer close because life happened.

A change of location.

A new job.

Marriage.

Children.

Different responsibilities.

It seems, with you, out of sight is out of mind.

Once they stop reaching out, you also stop reaching out.

Not because you stopped caring.

You just moved on.

And this has been the norm for years.

When You Realize the Friendships Are Gone

Until one day, you realized you don’t really have any friends anymore.

Not acquaintances.

Not people you greet warmly when you run into them.

Friends.

The kind you can call without thinking twice.

The kind who knows when something is wrong from the sound of your voice.

The kind you can sit with without needing to explain yourself.

You don’t have many of those anymore.

When Someone Else Notices

And now, even your 11-year-old daughter has noticed.

She probably didn’t mean anything by it.

She was just telling you what she saw.

But somehow, those words stayed with you.

“Friendless.”

Maybe that’s why they felt different.

Because somewhere inside you, you already knew.

When Friendship Stops Having a Place

You have spent so many years being a mother, a wife, a daughter, a professional—a woman who keeps moving—that somewhere along the way, friendship became one more thing you stopped making room for.

And perhaps that is the part you are only beginning to notice.